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BLOCKS ALONG THE WAY
Despite the claims of Centering Prayer and of therapy, I have
seen people who have practised Centering Prayer over time and
yet remain stuck. I have seen the same people engage in the
process of therapy and they remain stuck. What blocks their
path?
There are several responses to this question. I suggest but a
few:
(i) Fear is perhaps one of our biggest barriers to change. Fear
of the unknown can block not only outer but also inner change.
It can paralyse us. If I change, will I lose my self image, my
sense of who I am? And, if I do, how will you perceive me? And
how will I cope with your new perception of me? We are terrified
to leave where we are and go forward into the unknown. And the
feelings can hijack the mind and come up with seemingly
convincing arguments as to why we need to stay just where we
are!
If I launch out into the deep, if I venture into uncharted
waters – will I be lost forever? And so I cling to the shore. If
I “let go” to the Void will I collapse into Nothingness rather
than be united with the All? And so I cling to where I am and
what I know. I cling to the familiar thoughts; or to the ideas
that my mind can master. I turn away from mystery. The spiritual
journey requires deep trust. It requires the spirit of abandon;
it requires the daring of the explorer; the patience of a mother
with her child!
(ii) Another major barrier is, I think, the absence of
willingness. We can mistake willfulness for willingness. Gerald
May in the first chapter of his powerful book Will and Spirit
makes the distinction between these two.
Many of us think we can bring about change willfully, through
sheer force of will. I made this mistake and spent many years
attempting to make myself do this, that or the other. I played
havoc with my health.
Willingness notices the wonder of life and reverences it.
Wilfulness ignores it or at its worst tries to destroy it. As
May puts it, “ …willingness implies a surrendering of one’s
self-separateness …an immersion in the deepest processes of life
itself. It is a realization that one already is a part of some
ultimate cosmic process and it is a commitment to participation
in that process. In contrast, wilfulness is the setting of
oneself apart from the fundamental essence of life in an attempt
to master, direct, control or otherwise manipulate existence.”
But in the end, mastery must give way to mystery.
(iii) A third barrier is the denial of woundedness and of the
need for healing. Instead of addressing their emotional
distress, many bury the pain deep in their body and pretend it
doesn’t exist. They tighten their muscles around the pain so
that they create, as it were, a sheet of armour so that nothing
can get through to the pain. Eckhart Tolle in his popular book A
New Earth eloquently describes the pain body and its impact on
our lives.
Some meditate as a way of avoiding their need to address this
emotional pain. Instead of going into and through the pain, they
attempt to skirt the pain and lose themselves in meditation
looking for the “highs” that certain techniques bring. They wish
to escape the drabness of life; they fear to explore their life
story and what it might reveal. They seek refuge in a
“pseudo-spirituality” to quote Ken Wilber.
When we bury our emotional pain in our body, our body pays the
price – high blood pressure, digestive difficulties, ulcers,
head ache, back ache, heart trouble…the list is endless. We
release the emotional pain and often enough, the body is cured.
At least this has been my experience.
(iv) And, there are other blocks. Among them: The tendency of
some to cling to the delights of the early stages of prayer and
their refusal to move on into the darkness of the nights of
transformation. Others assume a superior stance. They see
themselves as privileged and apart – “I am not like the rest of
men.” Pride corrodes them. Many get caught in the “blame game.”
They refuse to assume responsibility for themselves. They blame
their parents, their early life experiences, society at large,
anything and everything for their failure to set out on the
spiritual journey.
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